That hurts, seriously that hurts

So yeah Medini was talking about how her life story was about sticking it to spazzers daily. So i asked her if i could write her life story. and well it just kinda got out of hand...

So now u can read it here and get a false sense of medinis past. Enjoy




Our stroy begins with a quaint and contented 4 year old girl living in...well lets say canada. She is a well meaning girl who gives her cupcakes to jerry, the paralegic 5 year old with a nasty overbite. Jerry bites the four year old girl but she doesnt mind it. Though she has two paws for hands now from the banadges. Her parents wonder what they will do with her. Some say she is the vishnu reincarnated with her six arms and peaceful demeanor. But others know her as the dalia lama with her bald head and tendencies to wear a red robe and go around town asking for money. heres where we begin to see desperation. As soon as she turns six she begins taking jerry along with her on walks. Together they beg for money, using jerrys handicap as selling point. They manage to raise 2,000 dollars in revenue in there first yaer. Sadly its there only year. A freak accident involving a tank of compressed air, a hamster, tampons and the foolish grip of the little girl cause an explosion that critically injures Jerry. His parents forbid him to ever see the girl again. This is where we see an incline in the girls aggression. And yet it is the beginning of her struggle to find long hair. Though i said she had been bald, she still had some on her sides of her head. But the accident has left her COMPLETELY bald. feeling determination she sets out to find more hair. beautiful hair, long hair. hair that will cause her to experience orgasms while shampooing it. just like she saw in that herbal essences commmercial. Cut to ten years later. We find the girl in her bedroom caressing and admiring her new hair in a mirror. The girl likes her hair. the end

Where we last left the girl we were in her bedroom watching her as she admired her newly aquired hair. What many of us wonder is how she came across such a fine set of hair without selling her soul to allah satan god jesus vishnu buddha jeovah christmas saints of latter days and the four whores of the apocalypse. Due to some indescrepancy between witnesses, those taht lived i dare say, the author will fill in some parts with his own sick and perverted thoughts. thank you, now to continue reading u must agree to the following terms and conditions. THE AUTHOR DOES NOT TAKE ANY RESPONSIBILITY FOR ANY AND ALL SPLINTERS OF THE MIND FORMED FROM IMAGINING THE EVENTS CONTAINED WITHIN THIS, THE VOLUME TWO OF MEDINI, ALSO THE AUTHOR WOULD LIKE IT UNDERSTOOD THAT HE DID NOT GET DRUNK AT LAST YEARS CHRISTMAS PARTY AND WAS NOT DISCOVERED MAKING OUT WITH AN ORNAMENTAL TREE. THANK YOU

The girl was now fourteen. She ahd little ssense at all not to disturb the author as he was writing, so she slipped and fell through a dingy old roff in the ghetto of lowell. the tenant seeing her as she was still bald, dismissed her as a mere sphinx cat. and likewise stomped on her until she saw brad pitt shirtless sitting beside a pool of chardonnay, she was home. but not really. she awoke several hours later in a alcoholic daze...but then she didnt recall ever consuming alcohol. she then turned up to the sky and yelled at the author to stop making her self esteem so fucking low. the author argues with her until she agrees to go along with what the author thinks is best for the story. Now the girl starts running away from this place running til she cant run no more. and she hears tom hanks in the background. his leg braces being cast asunder as if he wasnt all that mentally retarded. fucking druggie with child like inhibitons.....oh right. So shes running, and she comes across a boy. but this boy is different, he is....brown! the girl is ecstatic over such a find. She remembers now that this is what must be an indian! the boy approches her and asks where the girl comes from. the girl replied East Side yo, dont be trippin up in them vents i got skillz up the yazoo river. the boy puzzled tells her that shes from india and taht shes just as brown as him. The girl thinks on this and for the first time since she was born realizes shes brown too!!!. she finally discovers her heritage!!! and she hugs the boy. **YOU MIGHT BE WONDERING WHAT THIS HAS TO DO WITH HER HAIR. SO AM I, BUT I THINK I CAN PULL THIS OFF** The boy inquires about her lack of hair. the girl says she was just born that way. and also explains about the tampon, gas, and grip explosion, as well as her devotion to finding new hair. THen a moment of brilliance strikes her like a cow in a rainforest. She grabs the boy by the hair and scalps him raw. She places the hair tidily on her head and says "got ur hair bitch!" "hehehehehehe". Despite his wailing and pain, the boy begins to fancy the girl. And they live happily ever after